Valentine's Day

14th of FEBRUARY "VALENTINE'S DAY" 

I didn't have any date on Valentine's, I dated myself instead. Few months ago I was planning to spend my Valentine's some place else but then lack of budget. Luckily a friend of mine gave her reserved travel tour to Pampanga as a Valentine gift, and so the planned "Solo Valentine" was pushed through. I was the only solo traveler on the tour but I gained new acquaintances. They were with family and some others are friends. These people are jolly and approachable as well as the driver and tour guide. It was superb! Valentine was going well.

When I got home from Pampanga I strolled around at MOA hoping I could watch a movie (yes, still alone). When I got to the ticketing booth for movies the line was undeniably long so I backed out, trying to observe people around me. Lovers, best friends, families, etc. here and there. I headed out to the bookstore which was not so crowded tried to search for the book I've been dying to read, it wasn't there. Then I remembered that my manager was at Blue baywalk for one of her talent's Valentine Serenade, I tagged along with her family. They dropped me off few streets away from my home, I decided to pass by the Adoration Chapel at Malate Church. It was Sunday, I didn't think twice about going there and talk to God (I talk to Him wherever I am but still being at the Church feels like I'm in Heaven, closer to Him). When I came home, didn't expect that my family had a Valentine late dinner plan. I freshened up a bit and went out again enjoyed the comedy bar with them. My Valentine was full of love. Love for God, myself, family, and friends. You don't always have to be with someone or have anyone to feel love and be loved.

My Valentine's Day 2016 💕

You don't need to have someone to feel love and be loved. Love from God, myself, family, and friends. Plus the perks of traveling solo and meeting new people, shout out to the people I was with during the tour. Overflowing love on Valentine's!

Thank You dearest God for the gift of LOVE 

(FEBRUARY 2016)

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Growing up I've always wondered how couples celebrate this special day to express their love for that one person unitedly with all the other couples there is. I've seen it in movies, have heard them on the news, seen it in the streets. It all looks so enticing and heart-melting that I've wished to experience it myself when I grow up. During my teenage years there was a Valentine celebration in front of the bay just few streets away from us, I used to go there with my uncles and my best cousin Yvett whose nickname is Lovely. We watch the bands play as I observe all the participants, passerby, and fellow 'tsismosos'. How cute does it look like with majority of the ladies holding a piece of a rose in their hand or struggling to hug a bouquet with one arm while their free hand finds their partner's and locks their finger with theirs. The way they look at the one they love is so amazing that sometimes when you feel its sincerity, you can't help but shed a tear. 

I had several boyfriends but this day scares me than most days there is so I always make it to a point to push them away or break up with them before the 14th. I was scared of being treated special then next thing I know I'll have my heart broken by the same person, I was scared of loving someone too much that I'll carelessly lose myself and indulge into the feelings and emotions I have. I've never been asked out formally on a date or dined with anyone on Valentine's, no bouquets, fancy dress nor chocolates, not until he came into my life and started to change things magically but not until when he broke my heart into pieces. Moving on, I started to pick myself back where I fell off this time with all the life lessons I never knew I needed. I valued myself and regained much than what I used to have. Thought of spending this red-letter-day in the most heart-crushing way ever since I was still on the said process and eventually I got used to being alone.

🗓2015- participated in a speed-dating game, 'Love, Maybe' at Resorts World (it was okay, but nah. Charging it to experience) and went straight to Jägermeister's party with Rogna Thapa to join our friends. Few days before or after, I watched a movie entitled 'That Thing Called Tadhana' alone (for the first time ever!!!)

🗓2016- unexpectedly joined a travel tour alone to Pampanga (Hot Air Balloon festival) and gained new acquaintances (thank you Chin Chin Jongko). Dropped by to watch Joseph Puducay's Valentine concert at Blue Baywalk with Ate Marinella Sevidal and family. Lastly, grabbed some couple of drinks and laughed hysterically at 'The Library' with mom Wendy J. Villacorta, aunt Arlita Avila, and best cousin Yvette Love Avila

🗓2017- ???

*Yeah, I received no flowers nor chocolates or whatever. What I received was love. Love from my friends, family, God, and especially myself. I managed my time, decided on my own, spent it technically alone but not lonely. Valentine's isn't the day to mourn about being single. Instead, it is the day to be reminded how strong you are for loving yourself, knowing your worth, and waiting for 'the one'.

But I won't deny, that sometimes I find myself lost in my own thoughts, still hope for my own unforgettable loving Valentine's Day. I hope that day will I'll get to experience being kissed under a mistletoe, kissed on New Year's Day, formally asked out on a date, asked to be their 'Valentine', asked for a dance under the moonlight and stars. There's so many things I have yet to experience but what scares me the most is having my heart terribly broken myself once more. I know I love myself now much more than I did, but why don't I get tired of giving people a piece of my heart knowing they'd break it into microscopic clusters, throw it away and leave it like everyone does. Someday, one day, one guy would take time to know me, surprisingly remember small details about me, would actually stay, and would spend Valentine's with me 'til our time on earth is done.

(JANUARY 2017)