Wong Fu Productions

I've been watching videos from Wong Fu Productions, but the first video was entitled "The Last", it really brings me to tears imagining a guy telling me those things and loving me that way. And so, I started to click on more videos from their channel and I found these short films hit me so much...

"AFTER US"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvxHPtEsmFc

THE STEPS OF MOVING ON:

1. Reminiscing and retracting

2. Release

3. Rebuilding

4. Renewed

REMINISCING AND RETRACTING

A year ago I found myself suffering from so much depression when everything between us was falling apart. I remember that last look, that last glance before we parted ways as I was on my way to the train station. A week after I sent him an e-mail on Yahoo just  like what we've talked about that we'd be somehow updating each other but received no reply from him, I fight the urge to text nor call him but I re-read our messages. I check on his new girl's Facebook account until I broke down when I saw that just after a week when we officially broke up he brought the girl to his house, to his room. The room that we re-painted and gave a new look, I wondered if he ever think about me with every stroke of that paint brush painted on his walls. Yes, he cheated on me. I did a horrible thing because the pain was too much to bear, I overdosed myself from 50pcs of aspirin. I hoped that he'd come to see me but never heard anything from him even when he knew that I was almost in coma. Even when I was getting better I still hope he'd come to see me, so we'd be able to say good bye, ask him things I'm dying to know like why did he cheated on me. I looked crap and lost, I purposely avoid things that would remind me of him, of us. I chose not to talk things over with anyone because it doesn't help at all, I just want him back. But after my stay in the hospital I slowly started to realize couple of things.

RELEASE

I started to eat more, started to gain weight and look better. Catching up with my friends and family, talked about him with a clear head. And to my surprise that I finally had that bit of courage to talk about him and what happened without shedding tears. Even tried to catch up with the whole world, school, classmates, strangers, places, everything.

REBUILDING

I socialized more often, gained few more people in my life. Tried new things, start to see life without him, did things alone that we used to do together such as stroll in the mall, watch a movie, coffee, dine, and a lot more. I flirt at times, go out on some dates but most of the time enjoy the company of my friends. Cleaned out my stuff until like in the video I unexpectedly found something that he owns and I fall back a few steps once in a while. But at least, I'm a whole lot better than how I used to be.

RENEWED

I miss having someone special and someone who treats me special but sometimes when I think of it everything comes back even the hurtful memories that makes me fear of giving it a try with love again. But  I came to think that I don't really need someone right now; there are number of cute guys I talk to but I'm not ready for anything right now. I don't mean to turn them down but all I want right now is just to be friends with them,  I don't want to be unfair jumping into things. I just want to focus on who I am as a person right now, who I want to be, who I can be. Love will come, maybe not soon enough but it will.

I haven't really figured out if I'm in the rebuilding or renewed step but what matters is that I'm getting better. In time, I'll be okay. In time, I'll have that gorgeous smile  back on my face. Someday. One day.

"STRANGERS, AGAIN"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvxHPtEsmFc

STAGES OF A RELATIONSHIP:

1. The meeting

2. The chase

3. The honeymoon

4. Comfortable

5. Tolerance

6. Downhill

7. Breaking up

THE MEETING

We met in the most awkward and unexpected way. I had a long day from photo shoot to ramp rehearsal and so much  hassle before I reached that mall where my acquaintances were at. My mobile's battery got drained and I had to look for a convenient store with charging station. Until my acquaintances went there and he was there, everything was history.

THE CHASE

We became friends and had couple of dates, introduced each other to families. Enjoyed our moments together, sweet nothings here and there.

THE HONEYMOON

After one year of courtship, Valentine's came as surprise when he asked me to his girl. It was such a perfect moment for both of us, being officially a couple.

COMFORTABLE

Most of the time we spend our time together thinking about where to go, what to eat, and what to do. Sometimes we'd end up bumming around together and doing silly stuffs, sharing laughs and all.

TOLERANCE

Arguments came up but we managed to patch things up, I just don't know how it went nearing the end of the relationship.

BREAKING UP

I found out that he has someone new (even when we were still together) and he kept it a secret for me for 3 months long. It was a mutual decision to end things, to end up the hurting and lying.

"And everything we shared would just become fragments and memories. From so long ago, I'll question if it really happened. And all that would  be left is a box of random stuff, from a faded memory in time when a stranger was the most important person in my life."

I still have all those random stuffs that reminds me of different memories and moments we shared and had. I kept it all in a white backpack and try not to open it and reminisce things over because I want myself to stop crying and I want the pain to stop hurting. I need to move on not in the way that he did but in a better way that I know would make me feel good about myself and everything again.

(NOVEMBER 2015)

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"THE LAST"

Who, What, When, Where, Why

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvxHPtEsmFc

Mga kwento ni Roger sa Pagong

NOTE: WRITTEN IN TAGLISH (TAGALOG + ENGLISH)

I went past this through  YouTube while searching for some  "Hugot Lines". I didn't expect this would hurt me so much. While listening to  his voice clips I couldn't help but cry, it's like it's my  conscience talking to me or me talking to myself.

#3 is so much  feels: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K89aL0cxe6w&feature=iv&src_vid=I2KOJP8oXfU&annotation_id=annotation_2184460895

Sinanay mo ako  hanggang sa ikaw ang nagsawa. Sinanay at  pinaniwala mo ako sa maraming bagay, naging tapat ka sa mga sinabi mo sa akin and you treated me like a princess but bakit you threw me out like trash? Pero like sa video hindi ko alam kung ano ang dahilan kung bakit biglang isang araw biglaan ka na lang nagbago. Bakit bigla mo na lang ako iniwan, bakit bigla ka na lang napagod, bakit bigla mo na lang ako pinagpalit? Sana bago ka umalis tinuruan mo man lang ako kung paano masanay na wala ka. Before you came I was scared to give all the love I have, when you came I gave you all the love there is even the love that I never knew I have but when you  left you took everything away from me. I can still remember how it all started but still wondering how it ended. Sobrang layo mo sa idea guy ko at compared to those who were before you, hindi ko alam how  and why I fell for you but I took the risk. Remember the time na nagka-misunderstanding kami ni Mommy? I ran away from home at hindi ko alam kung bakit ikaw ang una kong naisip na takbuhan. I took a cab with not much cash in my pocket, sobrang dilim na nun at binaba ako sa along Carriedo then I was scared kasi hindi ako sanay sa place na yun so I asked the "kagawad" na nagroronda that time, naka-motor siya. And when I got to your doorstep I was surprised to find you there, it was already midnight. I didn't even have my  phone with me because mom confiscated it, funny how I found you  there on your doorstep and just hang up the phone with my mom. Hindi ko alam why she called you up. I asked you bakit ka nasa labas holding your car keys and you told me na sabi sayo ni mommy  that I ran away at kaya ka nasa labas because you would go and find me kahit hindi mo alam kung saan ako hahanapin. Pero after a year or two I ran away not from home but from  you because we had an argument but this time you didn't go after me, I asked you why at sinabi mo sakin kasi hindi mo alam kung saan ako hahanapin. Ang sakit how things changed. Katulad ka lang din pala nilang lahat.

This #6 hit me so much: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2KOJP8oXfU 

Paano nga ba makalimot sa isang taong minahal mo ng lubusan? 'Yung taong minahal mo ng higit pa sa lahat. I tried to do everything that would distract me from thinking and remembering things about how  we used to be. I hated how I look when we were together; Timehop sucks! It brings back so much memories, moments I had with  you that are now just part of my past. Ang haggard ko, ang payat ko sobra, pero alam mo kung ano? I don't know how to bring that smile back, that smile I had when we were together, that smile I used to have because I know that I have you with me. Totoong hindi mahirap makalimot, ang mahirap ay ang tumanggap sa mga bagay  na wala na. It's been a year and few months since we said good-bye pero hanggang  ngayon masakit pa rin. Minsan hindi ko pa rin maiwasang masaktan, malungkot, magalit. Naniwala ako sa mga bagay na hindi ko pinaniniwalaan nung dumating ka, binigyan mo ako  ng pag-asa maniwala. Pero alam ko darating din ung time na magiging okay ako ulit, hindi man kita makakalimutan pero darating ung panahon na mapapatawad din kita sa lahat ng ginawa mo sa akin. Mapapatawad din kita at magiging masaya ako ulit.

(NOVEMBER 2015)